Causes of Romantic Partner Violence on Campus

Last weekend, Kevin Sigei, a second year engineering student, was stabbed to death by his girlfriend at the hostel. Reports say they had had an argument which made him assault Claire. For self defense, she ended up taking his life. Claire, a second year student, went on and committed suicide to escape guilt and had mentioned in the letter that she had let her mother down. 

Vandem, a third year student, also became a victim last year. Reports say he had managed to open doors for his girlfriend by investing in a business for the girl’s comfort. All these sacrifices were for a healthy relationship. He ended up taking his life after realizing the girl left him for a "better" person.

Having placed his life and future in the girl's hands, he could not take the pain. He tried counseling but the stress and depression made us lose him.

Is it the financial strain of maintaining relationships, the influence of peer pressure, or the desire for more than what one is given? These questions continue to emerge whenever such tragic incidents occur. In many university settings, relationships are increasingly shaped by expectations of financial support, social status and lifestyle. When these expectations are not met, frustration, jealousy and feelings of inadequacy may arise. 

For some students, the pressure to keep up with peers or to sustain a certain image within relationships can quietly build emotional tension that eventually turns destructive. Equally concerning is the emotional dependence that many students place on romantic relationships. University life is often a transitional phase where young people are still forming their identities and have coping mechanisms. When one partner becomes the centre of another’s hopes, happiness or future plans, the breakdown of that relationship can feel overwhelming. Without healthy coping strategies, rejection or conflict may quickly escalate into emotional distress, aggression or self-harm.

In response to the growing concerns over student wellbeing, the university has introduced several mental health initiatives aimed at supporting students. These include counselling services, mental health awareness programs and designated spaces where students can relax and relieve stress. An annual mental health forum also brings together professionals and students to discuss emotional wellbeing and coping strategies. These efforts represent an important step towards acknowledging that academic institutions must also safeguard the psychological health of their students.

However, the availability of these services raises an important question: do students actually seek help when they need it? Many male students, in particular, tend to suffer in silence due to societal expectations that they must appear strong and emotionally resilient. Yet depression, stress and emotional pain do not discriminate by gender. Both male and female students need safe spaces to express their struggles. It is therefore important for students to actively participate in these mental health forums, seek counselling when necessary and openly discuss the challenges they face before they escalate into irreversible tragedies.

Ultimately, the recent tragedies serve as a painful reminder that romantic relationships within universities should not become sources of fear, control or emotional destruction. Relationships are meant to provide companionship, support and growth, not pressure and suffering. When love becomes intertwined with insecurity, financial expectations or emotional dependency, it risks creating an environment where conflict escalates beyond control.

Addressing partner violence among students therefore requires a collective effort. Universities must continue strengthening counselling services and awareness programs, while students themselves must learn to cultivate healthy relationships built on communication, respect and personal independence. Friends, classmates and peers also play a crucial role in recognizing signs of emotional distress and encouraging those affected to seek professional help.

As institutions of higher learning, universities are expected to nurture not only intellectual development but also emotional maturity. Promoting conversations around mental health, conflict resolution and responsible relationships can help students navigate the complex social realities of campus life. By fostering a culture where seeking help is normalized rather than stigmatized, many of these tragic outcomes may be prevented.

For the students whose lives have been lost, their stories should not simply fade into statistics. Instead, they should serve as a call to reflection and change within the university community. If students, administrators and support systems work together to prioritize wellbeing, campuses can once again become spaces of learning, safety and hope rather than scenes of heartbreak and loss.