By KITHAKA ESTHER KARIMI
Second Year BA Journalism and Mass Communication Student, Chuka University
Mercy, a 26-year-old urban lady from Nairobi, looks to the future and decides she can't start from scratch like others do. Her friends and age mates in rural areas dream of marrying young men and prefer monogamous families. For Mercy, her dream is to find a man who already has responsibilities. She believes that since he's used to caring for and providing for his family, she won't lack anything. In Nairobi, where the cost of living is rising, Mercy is sure a polygamous setup will offer her stability.
"This choice provides financial security because the man has already succeeded in his career and investments," she explains. Being a co-wife means she's not the only one supporting her husband.
Mercy's decision stems from her childhood. As the first child, she witnessed her father's struggles growing up. He married at 22, lacking financial support and maturity. She won't let her children face the same challenges. She wants a proven, capable man.
Polygamy is part of traditional African society, and Mercy wants to be part of it, even in modern times. She insists on being recognized and respected. However, her family opposes her decision, calling it a shame and warning her of consequences.
Many Nairobi women share Mercy's perspective. They prioritize comfort, living in upscale areas like Kilimani, and enjoying modern amenities. They seek men who've invested and can provide this lifestyle. This trend highlights an economic divide: young men struggle to access the economy and marriage, creating a gap only wealthier men can fill.
In Nairobi, polygamy is more common than you'd think, recognized under Islamic and customary laws. Mercy is willing to register, but will existing wives consent? Will they agree on property rights and inheritance? While Mercy sees stability in polygamy, others might find it challenging.
"It's a personal choice, but it requires careful consideration," says a religious leader who is a relationship counselor.
For Mercy, 26 is old enough to know what she wants: a secure home, a provider, and a responsible man. "Love is a feeling, but marriage is an institution, and I choose a stable one," she concludes.
Mercy's story echoes that of other Nairobi women. "I've seen friends struggle with monogamous marriages," says Damaris, 29. "They're broke, stressed, and unhappy. I'd rather have a comfortable life with a man who's proven himself."
According to a 2020 survey, over 20% of marriages in Nairobi involve polygamy, often driven by economic factors. "Polygamy isn't just cultural; it's practical," says Dr.Fatima, a sociologist. "Women are seeking financial security in a tough economy."
However, polygamy comes with its own challenges. "Jealousy and competition between wives can be intense," warns counselor James. "Communication and respect are key."
For Mercy, the benefits outweigh the risks. "I want a partner, not a project," she says.
MWINGI TIMES for timely and authoritative news.
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