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A MAN'S STRUGGLE WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Simon discusses a specific incident as the first time where he felt so hurt and hopeless. He is now comfortable talking about that incident with me and with other professionals. He explained being at home and when he went to bed, he suddenly found that there was a text that came through. 
Men's suffering at the household level in the hands of their partners usually go unreported and they are ignored, argues our writer.

Abigail, his partner, thought Simon was having an affair with Jennifer. Simon was totally bewildered by the text. He found out that the text was actually from the wife of somebody who Abigail was having an affair with. The husband's wife found out about his wife's affair and then sent a sarcastic and gloating text to Simon.

Yet Simon had no previous domestic violence experience and had no idea as to the best proper way to handle the incident. He was just feeling so hurt in his heart.

Abigail had started dishing out a fair bit of verbal abuse to Simon. Simon did not fight back because he didn't want to fight with her and also he was scared that if someone calls the police, it might go against him. But all of a sudden, Abigail just launched off the bed and gave Simon a massive punch in his face. He had to use his whole body to push her away, which left a massive bruise on his chest. She was taken away by the police but she was released the next day because she denied everything. 

Later, Simon felt so helpless because he knew it was an unfair and that he was a victim of domestic abuse. And told everything to the police. After that incident, the abuse did not stop but it got worse. He was isolated by Abigail from his friends and family, and she monitored his every single movement, even when he could use the phone and he could not leave any messages on Facebook. 

Finally, Simon decided to get help from social services. By the time he told me as a professional, he felt a lot better and thanked God that his life improved a lot. Simon told me that as a professional, I must report the case to child protection for the interest of the kid and I did it because I had to do that as a social worker.

He really appreciates all the help and protection from social services. He is extremely proud and happy for his decision now because he feels as having more control of his life and is able to move forward. He said that he is living his life again. He also thanked the police and social services for their help. He said the police are really good, supportive, and they constantly keep him updated. I am so glad that he made it through this and eventually got his life back after all the sadness and difficulties.

He is such a brave and strong man. He is determined to continue his recovery and no matter what she may try, the abuse from Abigail would remain in his past and never get a final victory. He hopes others may also seek the assistance they need to move forward and end the violence. I hope there are people who are victims of domestic abuse can find some strength and inspiration from Simon's story. He is such a brave, strong, and inspiring young man. And it is time to stop the fear. It is time to stop suffering in silence. Let the same meaning pass on and on. As members of society, we all should have the responsibility to identify the victims of domestic violence and provide appropriate support and assistance. Let's make it everyone's business and stop the fear and abuse.

STORY By JANET NYAMBURA MAINA, Student, Chuka University

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